...like you've been punched in the gut? The one after a conversation you never thought you'd have, for example?

Today I had a chance to meet with some folks from Westminster Theological Seminary (yes,that Westminster) to talk about their PhD program, in particular the apologetics concentration. Now, some of you who have been dropping by for a while now are probably scratching your head. For one, I'm not Reformed. Not by a long shot - I'm about a 1.75 point Calvinist, last I checked, which makes me about as Reformed as Dick Cheney is a good shot. For another, apologetics might seem like an odd sort of pursuit for me, given my approach to all things rational and provable. But Westminster has a few things going for it - for one, it's one of the most academically rigorous seminaries around; for another, they have a cultural apologetics track that seems, from what I gathered, to take issues of contextualization seriously.

So I had a very nice lunch with the head of the apologetics program, thanks to one of my professors at Biblical (a Westminster grad and a capital fellow by all accounts). We talked for a while about their program, and, while I'm not sure it's a good fit yet, I at least was interested in learning more. But then we dropped by the admissions office to chat with the director of admissions about the language requirements. And that's the less happy conversation that's left me feeling like a complete loser - the guy basically said that my degree isn't considered an appropriate MDiv for their program, and he wouldn't even consider me for admissions. What's the issue? For one, I don't have biblical languages in my program. No problem there; I knew that was an issue going into the thing and planned to supplement with additional coursework. But the second hangup I never saw coming. He said I lacked the systematic theology requirements for admission.

Ok, step back for a second - I've read their catalogue, and nowhere in there does it talk about systematic theology. Now, I'm learning that they want 12 credits of graduate work in systematics. See, at Biblical they scrapped the systematic theology in the program in which I'm enrolled because the theology is all integrated with biblical studies. So we don't talk about the doctrine of the church in the abstract - we read Galatians and develop a theology of the church from the biblical text. We read Genesis and talk about sin; we read the Gospels and talk about social justice. That's the approach that my program takes - it's not perfect, to be sure, but I can tell you that I'm walking away from this program with a far greater perspective on how scripture informs my theology, instead of just memorizing some proof texts in a systematic book. It's been a great program, and I've learned a ton - but not, apparently, in the way that they'd like.

So here I am, after thousands of dollars and countless hours of study, being told that I, in essence, didn't get a real degree. "Terminal degree" was the term that he used - meaning it's the end of the line, basically.

But you know what? I'd take my second-class degree any day over one that leaves me ill-prepared to do theology in a rapidly changing context. I just want a chance to prove that I can do it.

They're going to review their requirements and Biblical's curriculum and get back to me, so it's not a closed door yet. But, crap, I thought I had no idea in what direction I was heading before...